A soppy personal post

Apologies for the personal post

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a slightly different post from normal. It’s a personal post, which to a degree, I have written for more personal therapy than anything else. If you find yourself giving this post a skip, I will completely understand.

INTRODUCTION

After 16 years of loved life, our family dog Rosie has passed away.  Rosie came into our lives in 2008, and unfortunately after a battle with crippling arthritis and dementia, was put down in 2024.  The family and kids are noticeably upset, as is her mother and father.

GETTING ROSIE

We got Rosie in 2008.  I girlfriend and I had just moved in together and the girl I was dating before her was terrified of dogs.  As a dog lover, I wanted a dog, and we agreed to get one.  You know how it goes, a trial before kids etc.

Originally I didn’t want Rosie.  She was too small, and I recall saying to my girlfriend at the time she was a bit of a wimpy dog. I called her a ‘gimp’, because I thought it was funny.

Nevertheless, as she was so loveable and adorable that that approach didn’t last long. On our car ride home, after getting her, she wouldn’t sit still. She kept trying to climb all over me.

We originally told ourselves, she’ll sleep downstairs in her own bed, but every night she cried and made a noise. We were sleep deprived. After weeks and weeks of not sleeping, one night I just went down stairs, grabbed her, and went back upstairs with her in my arms. She fell asleep then and there in the bed with us and thats where he would sleep here on out. Our bed was her safe space and there she remained until her last days.

Everyone who knew me commented that this dog had truly mastered the art of wrapping me around it’s little paw. We took her to obedience training and every time she was unsure, she would wimper, run to me and I’d pick her up and hold her in my arms. The trainers all found it very funny. This guy with his little girl dog.

ROSIE GETS A FRIEND

Shortly after getting Rosie, my girlfriend’s parents bought their own dog.  A Boarder Collie called Ben.  After the passing of my girlfriend’s father Ben was rehomed, but Rosie, our little girl stayed.

The two never faught and played lovely together, such was Rosie’s nature. Over the years many Dogs would visit our house but Rosie was never aggressive with any of them. She was truly a chilled out dog.

SNOW DAYS

Its funny how a little dog could bring you so much joy.  In February of 2009 she experienced her first snow.  Not entirely sure what to do with snow she did the only logical thing, throw it up in the air with her nose and run around like a mad thing. 

Watching a puppy enjoy such simple things warms your heart.

Rosie’s tongue photo shots would become an internal family joke.  I appeared to be the only one capable to snapping them at just the right time. This was obviously before all the new phone tech. Back in the old days when you only got 1 shot at a tongue shot. I would often wait for the perfect shot to get a pic of her with her tongue out. 

After we got Rosie, many of our family outings would be oritentated around taking Rosie for a walk. She had become a central part of our lives.  Even the places we ate at had to be dog friendly.

There was a pub close to our house, the Black Horse, which welcomed dogs and had a wood fire. We would often take her there, just because they allowed us to take our dog in there with us. It was safe to say that we worked, and when we weren’t working we enjoyed time with our little girl.

The dog was so loved we wanted her with us on our wedding day, but the venue wouldn’t allow Rosie to go there as it was dog free, so we had her on our wedding cake instead.  That way she was there with us, without actually being there.

INTRODUCTION OF KIDS TO THE FAMILY

After we welcome my first born, my son, to the family we did worry that it would change the dynamics of the dog and that she would get funny with him.  You hear so many stories where the dog turns on the kids and so obviously we kept a close eye.  But saying that, her temperament was so kind and sweet that honestly we never worried.  She was always patient and caring with the babies, and the kids adored her.

My son would often become transfixed on the television whilst eating his toast. The toast would sit ideal in his hand and Rosie would gently slide it out of his hand whilst he didn’t notice. After his show ended he would look for his food and find it missing. It was truly funny to watch.

Regardless of the family expansion, she still remained loyally my dog, always sleeping on me or at least by me. Its funny how many pictures I found of myself asleep with the dog whilst writing this.

This dog had stacks of personality. From it’s first days with us as a young puppy we immediately knew she would bring such joy to our lives in the silly little things she did.

A little known fact, I got offered a job back in South Africa in 2009 for Crawford and Company but I refused the job because I couldn’t dream of departing from my dog even for a short while, such had I become so attached to her.

With the arrival of our second child, my daughter, we again worried but found that again little changed. 

She remained patient and loving with the family and remained the family’s faithful first child. I really don’t want to call her the family Pet. She really wasn’t a Pet. To class her so low in the family tree would be an insult to her memory.

TIME WAITS FOR NO ONE

As Rosie aged she didn’t go out on her long walks anymore.  She used to go out twice a week with a dog walker, and such was Rosie loved that even the dog walker used to take many photos of Rosie and put them up online to advertise her business. Once the dog walker lost Rosie, but Rosie just made her own way home. After that we put a tracker on Rosie.

Nevertheless, her age meant she got very tired quickly on such long walks and so we had to stop them, but still she loved to just look out at the open world.

Rosie loved her car rides with me. She would sit and look out of the window at the world. It was like having your own passenger in the car right there next to you. When I took the corners she would literally surf the car seat in order to keep herself upright.

As she aged her love to the car turned to her love of sleeping.  And sleeping unfortunately Rosie ended up doing a lot of. 

Rosie actually used to help me sleep.  For the longest time I struggled to sleep, with Insomnia. Especially after the passing of my father and father in law.  Rosie would come and lie in my arms and wait for me to fall asleep, then silently creep out of my arms once I was asleep to go lie by her mother.

Nevertheless, she always kept close to me regardless of where I was.

Unfortunately as my little girl started to get sicker and arthritis set in her favourite pastime – sleeping - became panful. She often just sit in her bed or walking around the room pacing in circles trying to get comfortable to try go to sleep. She was on injections of the arthrists and whilst they helped, they weren’t enough.

Seeing your little one diminish is not easy.  You want them to live forever, but unfortunately they don’t.  Dog live shorter lives than us, but often live lives that impact us on a deeper level. Often they leave a great impact on others than many humans ever do.  In the end they’re forced to leave you, and leave us she did.  Her illness drastically impacted her life to the point where living was no longer easy.  She struggled to walk and was in pain.  In the end we had to let her go to ease her suffering.

We tell ourselves she lived to over 16 years old. She had a good life for a Spaniel. She brought us so much joy and we treated her well. Nevertheless, I cannot tell you the sorrow I feel at losing my first love.  Rosie the girl I didn’t want, but was the girl I loved most.  I feel so much regret losing out on the last few years of her life from working abroad.  I wish I could have had more time with her, but I was not lucky enough to have had it. Some say she was lucky to have had us look after her and love her the way we did, but honestly the luck was all ours - we were lucky to have had her.

We tell ourselves stories to comfort ourselves.  We had to do X, there was no other options but maybe in truth we lie to ourselves and what’s easy at first becomes hard long term.   Life is short.  We make decisions we think are best but nothing lasts forever.  We all know we have to make the best of every day, enjoy those we have around us and be present and savour our every moment, but tomorrow we will ignore that advice and carry on with the next big thing, the next big distraction and ultimately live to regret it.

My little girl who lived at my side and by my feet is gone.  I will miss her so dearly.

She was a good girl and so very attentive to the needs of others.

I will keep her ashes with me for the rest of my days. I cannot bare to be apart from her.

Rest easy now my girl, daddy will miss you forever.

I promise to rub your belly in the life after. We all know how much you loved your belly rubs.

Daddy will love you always.

GOOD BYE MY LOVE

ROSIE SHEPHERD – 2008 to 2024.